Fulfillment: The Art of Cheating

Welcome to Man Reason!!! As long as there are relationships, there will be cheating. People cheat; it’s a fact of life like death. Accept it.

FULFILLMENT: THE ART OF CHEATING

The misconception is that the only form of cheating is physical. Let’s clear that up with first defining cheating.

Cheating: Fulfilling one’s needs with someone other than your spouse.

Now understand that cheating is more than physical. Example, suppose you enjoy golfing, but your spouse, whom has the ability to play golf, refuses to play with you. Instead, you play golf with someone other than your spouse. The need is to play golf, it is being fulfilled by someone other than your spouse, and therefore this would be cheating.

Need+Fulfillment-Spouse=Cheating

The question posed to Man Reason was:

… why is there a nonstop need to have it and from numerous partners?


I know what your spouse is thinking right now, “That’s bullshit. Playing golf and sleeping with someone is not the same thing.”

Most couples have a clear understanding to what is considered cheating in their relationship, though what is cheating to some is not cheating to others, yet the equation is always the same.

To answer the question, the “nonstop need” is a need not being fulfilled; therefore someone will engage in cheating. In some cases the need continues not to be met, which leads to “numerous partners.” In order to end the cycle, one most fulfill the need. In order to fulfill this need, one must know what the need is that needs to be fulfilled. Once the need has been identified one must then perform the action that will fulfill the need. After the action is complete, the person will enter a conscious state of need fulfillment or an unfulfilled state. This cycle is what I refer to as the Fulfillment Cycle. If the need is not fulfilled the cycle will continue until the need has been fulfilled. The fulfillment of a need is not in the action but in the mental state afterwards.

THE FULFILLMENT CYCLE

IDENTIFYING THE NEED

Think hard. I mean reach deep into yourself and find the need that needs to be fulfilled. In great detail, describe how this need must be fulfilled. It is important to have a clear understanding to how the need must be fulfilled. The reason being is that if the need is not fulfilled exactly then there will be a continual need to fulfill the need. Identifying the need is the most important and hardest part of the Fulfillment Cycle.

THE ACTION

After the need has been identified, then one can perform the action to fulfill the need. Remember that in order to fulfill the need, the action has to be exactly like the need.

MENTAL STATE

Only after the action is performed will you be able to determine if the need is fulfilled. The action does not fulfill the need; a need can only be fulfilled mentally. If the person fills that the need has been fulfilled, the person will experience a euphoria type felling. If the person does not feel that the need has been fulfilled, then that person will feel a frustrated type feeling. In the case of most cheaters, this feeling of need unfulfillment is typically mistaken for guilt.

As I have tried to stay away from mentioning sex, I will use sex as an example here. Assume you have a sexual fantasy need to perform an act of sex in a park. Masturbation to the thought of the idea will not fulfill the mental need that would be needed to fulfill the fantasy. Until the action of the sexual act in the park is fulfilled exactly as the fantasy, you will always have the need to fulfill this fantasy. Even though masturbation does fulfill the physical needs it does not fulfill the mental urges of a sexual fantasy.

Conclusion

As long as you can think, you will always have needs. Society has made the fulfillment of some needs taboo. What Man Reason recommends is that the best option is to be truthful to yourself and try to fulfill your needs. No I am not recommending you cheat, but as I said, each couple has their own beliefs to what is and what isn’t cheating. What couples normally do not have is how to deal with those urges. You see when it comes to a relationship there are some things you can talk about and some things you cannot. Cheating hardly comes up in a relationship conversation unless it is actually happening. Few couples sit down and talk about how to avoid cheating, or the feelings that lead to cheating. In my opinion it is possible to have a happy fulfilling relationship, and still be able to fulfill your needs. Relationships take work and compromise.

You will never have a fulfilling relationship until you indentify what a fulfilling relationship is.

Communication is the key to a successful relationship. I have no sympathy or empathy for someone who is cheated on by someone who has tried to open the line of conversation attempting to talk about the wants and needs of themselves and for the relationship.

Man Reason


Next Post: Levels of Sexuality Book 1


*femme fatale property of arnet's on flickr.com*
*Original photo and story from benrut1 on flickr.com*
*photo from flickr.com http://www.flickr.com/photos/gurvan/525380667/*